A woman who asked her date to ‘cover her transportation’ costs has sparked a heated debate online.
Last week, Washington-based dating coach named Erika Ettin took to Instagram to share a conversation that she had with a friend, named Zach, about a meetup that had gone terribly wrong.
Zach, 34, who lives in Manhattan, explained that he had matched with a woman on Hinge who is based in Jersey City.
When he asked her out on a date he offered to come to her area, but she explained that she was ‘fairly new’ to Jersey City and wasn’t familiar with ‘good first date spots.’
So instead, she said she preferred to go to New York City for their meetup, and they settled on grabbing drinks and taking a walk around Battery Park.
But when the woman explained that she expected Zach pay for her Uber from Jersey to the city, Zach was taken aback.
Erika posted screenshots of Zach and the woman’s awkward conversation, and the exchange led to a heated argument between her followers about dating etiquette.
‘I’m down to go to Jersey City but I’m not familiar with good first date spots. Got any favorites?’ Zach wrote in one of his messages to the woman, whose name was not shared.
A woman who asked her date to ‘cover her transportation’ costs has sparked a heated debate online (stock image)
‘Otherwise I’ll suggest some things in Manhattan if you’re down to come to my side of the river.’
‘I’m not really either haha I’m fairly new to Jersey City. Open to Manhattan suggestions,’ she replied.
After they picked the date, time, and place, the woman asked him, ‘How am I getting there?’
Zach responded by telling her the various ways she could get to the city via public transit.
‘I don’t know Jersey very well but I think it’s closet to Brookfield Place by boat or World Train Center on the Path,’ he wrote.
But the woman then snapped, ‘Oh. I thought you were going to send me an Uber.’
Zach tried to ease the tension by making a joke as he said, ‘Oh man I wish you had phrased it as “call me an Uber” so I could have said, “You’re an Uber.”‘
The woman didn’t respond, but Zach held out hope for their date.
Last week, Washington-based dating coach named Erika Ettin (seen) took to Instagram to share a conversation that she had with a friend, named Zach, about a meetup that had gone terribly wrong
Zach, 34, who lives in Manhattan, explained to her that he had matched with a woman on Hinge who is based in Jersey City
She said she preferred to go to New York City for their meetup, and they settled on grabbing drinks and taking a walk around Battery Park
‘T-minus one hour and she hasn’t responded but also hasn’t blocked me. I’m showing up,’ he told Erika. ‘I want so bad for this to be interesting.’
After getting to the bar he messaged his date to let her know he had ‘gotten them seats.’
But she responded with a question mark before adding, ‘…I’m not coming.’
But when the woman explained that she expected Zach pay for her Uber from Jersey to the city, Zach was taken aback
‘It was a little strange that you expected me to call you an Uber. I did offer to come to New Jersey if you didn’t want to make the trek,’ Zach told her. ‘Best of luck. Enjoy your evening.’
She then slammed him for not ‘covering the costs of her transportation,’ especially because she was ‘traveling almost an hour to meet him.’
‘I’m traveling almost an hour to meet you for a first date – not even for dinner – the least you could do is cover my transportation,’ she scathed.
‘It’s not a strange concept to a gentleman. Best of luck to you too.’
Zach ultimately didn’t reply to her message, but said he was relieved it ended ‘civilly’ without turning into a massive fight.
Erika wrote in her caption that the woman’s ‘expectation was unreasonable and dripped of entitlement.’
‘Instead of setting people up for failure, let’s set them up for success,’ she wrote. ‘She could have simply just expressed what she wanted and saved everybody some time.’
People immediately took to the comment section to share their thoughts on the ordeal, and some supported Zach, while others sided with the woman.
‘He seems super sweet. She seems super entitled,’ one person wrote.
‘She never let him know that she wasn’t going to come and didn’t apologize for standing him up,’ someone else slammed.
In the end, the woman didn’t show on the date and slammed him for not ‘covering the costs of her transportation,’ especially because she said she was ‘traveling almost an hour to meet him’
Erika posted screenshots of Zach and the woman’s awkward conversation, and the exchange lead to a heated argument between her followers about dating etiquette
‘He offered to come to her, she picked a place that wasn’t close to her then expected him to pay for round trip Uber?! She’s the problem,’ agreed another user.
‘And she’s passive aggressive with her “how am I getting there?”‘
‘This is ridiculous behavior (on her part),’ a fourth comment read.
‘Dodged a huge bullet there. It’s pulling teeth to have a conversation with most guys, he offered to come to her and he was funny/engaging/followed through,’ a fifth said. ‘She lost a potentially good one.’
‘She should have just said, “I can come to you if you’d be willing to send an Uber! Otherwise let’s meet closer to my place, we can both do some research on a place,”‘ suggested a different person.
Others, however, were critical of Zach’s response to her request.
‘Even though I personally wouldn’t expect someone to send a car, she makes it known that that’s what she’s hoping for and he responds by making a bad joke… AND THEN NEVER MESSAGING HER AGAIN?’ one outraged user commented.
‘And then he fanes surprise and acts like he was stood up when she doesn’t show for the date? … Get real.
‘I’m sorry, but I find his passive (and frankly dismissive) response to her explicitly stated expectation, to be just as much of a red flag as her expectation that he’d send an Uber might be for him.’
‘Yeah he fumbled with that “joke” about calling her an Uber. Should have been up front then and there,’ someone else added.
‘Bruh I got such an ick from this guy,’ a different person announced.
Zach defended himself while speaking about the ordeal to the New York Post afterwards.
‘I haven’t met you yet … I didn’t know this person’s last name, I had never laid eyes on her,’ he said.
‘If I was going to call her an Uber, she would have had to send me her address, which is a really weird thing to send to a random man.’
